Monday, June 30, 2014

Day 3: The Middle of the Earth

12/28/13

  We have arrived! I had a little experience with my water bottle shortly after I ended with you all. Basically I opened it and water shot everywhere. Including the poor souls in front of me and the lady walking by. Then customs took a while, but we didn't have to go through security! Guess we don't look suspicious enough. Next we had a very important moment of greeting Julz!





So after our sleep in a real bed, we got up and ate. Then blah, blah, blah. Went for a walk, ate lunch. Some interesting things: 1. I am thankful I'm not the one that has to drive here. Her dad is a super expert at it. 2. People pull over to pee. That's cool. 3. Julz told me that the houses here look like they're finished, but they are. They just don't want to spend money on the outside of their houses.

We also went to the equator and took a tour (with an english speaking guide). The equator does some cool things like no resistance. Ha! Anyways, it's beautiful here and I'm quite enjoying it. And learning a lot! Hopefully I'll have more Spanish vocab ready when I get back!


Sunday, April 13, 2014

I Am Not Naive

Taking a break from the Ecuador trip. Even though I wasn't really posting anyways. Whoops.

I think when people hear that I have never been in a relationship, they tend to think I am extremely naive. Yes, I know there aren't many of us out there who have gone our entire teenage years having no significant others. I know you haven't met anyone since you were two that hasn't had a boyfriend. I know you think it's my fault that I've been single my whole life. Well, let me tell you something. I am not naive.

I feel as though I have gained an immense amount of knowledge from watching and observing. Why put yourself through heartbreak just to learn the lessons that can be taught by watching other people experience heartbreak? Cold. I know. But seriously.

Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned from observing:

1. After I get engaged, I would like to spend at least one week with no contact with my significant other. You may think this is foolish, but let me explain. The heart gets in the way of the brain. There have been times where I have almost put myself into a situation based solely on emotions. When I was able to take a step back, I realized that I was not being smart. Taking a week break would allow time for God and I to have some talks and be really really sure that this is the man I want to marry.

2. If I find a man that I know my dad wouldn't approve of, it's not happening.

3. Spending all of your time with your significant other means losing friends. I get that you're marrying your best friend, but sometimes it's nice to have other outlets. Some girl time, ya know?

4. Make sure you know that you like each other for who the other person is, not what they look like. Cause trust me, we're not gonna look the same when we're pregnant.

5. Problems are best worked out by talking about them. Don't assume that the other person knows what you are thinking, because they probably don't.

6. Please, please, please, please. Talk about kids BEFORE you get married. I know this scares guys to bring up the subject of kids. But if you're engaged, it's something you need to talk about. What kind of school do you want them to attend? How are you going to punish your kids? Are you going to take turns in the middle of the night getting up? They seem like simple questions, but they can cause big problems.

7. Don't feel like you need to say yes to someone just because you've been dating them for a while.

8. Don't try to please other people with your relationship. You should be trying to please God.

9. If you can't see yourself in a year with a person, don't even consider dating them. True story.

10. You have to WORK to keep a marriage strong. Find ways to keep the romance alive. The world tells us that marriage is eventually going to get mundane. No more butterflies. I believe that if you're intentional, you can prevent that.

Those are just a few things I pulled from my head thinking about my friends/family's relationships. Each of them from different people.

So don't even tell me that I am naive. Don't tell me that I have failed. Don't tell me that I need to be the one pursuing. Don't tell me that it's my fault. If you haven't met anyone that hasn't had a high school relationship, maybe you're hanging out with the wrong crowd of people.

Can I also say I don't necessarily think it's my fault that I have not been in a relationship? However, I also wouldn't say it has been my choice either. But let me tell you who's choice it has been. God's. God continues to mold me and make me beautiful on my own while I wait to find the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. All the while making him beautiful too. God's timing is always perfect, and, for that reason, I will wait patiently.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Day 2: More Airports and Going South

12/27/13

  Today we have been... you guessed it. Sitting in the Houston airport. Shocked? Neither are we. But today we've walked around a bit more. Let me go back to this morning. I know you're all thrilled. Bee Tee Dubs- I'm guessing I'll relate less detailed stories (if any) as time goes on as I won't have 1700 hours of free time. Back to this morning, the guy working at the hotel was Indian and quite charismatic. The shuttle wasn't picking us up on time so he called the company and yelled at the girl on the phone. Awkward. That's been the excitement for the day. This part of the airport has moving sidewalks though! And massage chairs. And Wendy's. We've made use of all of them. And of course, more floor naps. Although my sleep last night was the greatest thing since DT's birth.
 
(Later that day...)
   FINALLY IN A PLANE! My butt and legs already hurt and I'm pretty sure we're only at the 2 hour mark of a 4.5/5 hour flight (Tiff and I got REALLY confused with all the time changes.) I also can't sleep cause guess what. Airplanes were not built for taller people. And I'm not even that tall! I feel bad for people like Annie and Demaryius. I feel like "they" claim that planes are a one-size-fits all type of deals. I claim that they should book planes based on height. The tall people plane just needs more leg space. But then families would be split up. So maybe they should just make real planes more spacious.
   I stare into the first class longingly. But my sorrow doesn't last long, because now I'm just wondering what the point is of a fish-net like curtain barely drawn between us and first class. What? They need some sort of separation from us untouchables!? First class people are so lame. And we don't get a meal. On the bright side, I couldn't find my iPod in my backpack earlier, but I just did. Ed Sheeraning it up! I just wish I could hear out of my right ear when I tilt my head. I suppose that creates better posture. It is weird to crave music?Cause I was definitely craving Ed's miraculous voice earlier. If you think of me, journal, please pray for my butt. I think we're at the point where it turns from serious pain and discomfort to numbness. That would actually be nice. As you can tell, I have a positive attitude about life right now. SOUTH AMERICA, HERE I COME!!



Saturday, January 18, 2014

Day 1: Airport Chaos

As I recently decided to take a sabbatical from life and travel to the lovely land of Ecuador, my mother encouraged me to journal daily. The following posts are from my time there. And, if for no one else, I know I will one day be able to look back at these entries and be able to remember detailed accounts of a once-in-a-lifetime experience. 

12/26/13
  I'm a little bit nervous right now. So I'm complaining to a journal about it. Makes perfect sense. Anyways, I'm nervous because people are most likely going to be talking to me, and I'll have no idea what they're saying. I don't know why that scares me so much, but it does. We woke up at 2:15 this morning-me, Tiff, and mom. Which was way too early for any living organism. Then this really sweet lady on the plane was complaining about waking up at 3:30. I was like "You have no idea." But I didn't actually say that. 
  These little boys are speaking Spanish next to me right now. It's really cute, but reminding me that I hate direct and indirect objects. Also, they just informed us that our flight is delayed an hour. I'm really learning to hate aeropuertos. The flight this morning I sat in between an elderly lady (who I believe was from South Africa) and a middle aged woman who I found out was a preschool teacher from Greeley [Side note. She was visiting one of her 5(?) kids in Houston. One of her sons who I think she said was 20 was about to go on a 2 year missions trip. I was like, "Yo! Hook me up with him!" But actually, sounds more like a Tiffany kind of guy.] We talked about everything from smart phones to the densely wooded part of Texas. Then, I SLEPT. Never before have I slept so wonderfully on a plane. Afterwards I learned that some creep asked Tiffany for her name and she told him Tiffany Smith. 
  (I've been watching/subconsciously listening to a video about massaging feet for literally hours now--fun.)
  So here's the thing, we get our luggage super fast in Houston and we're like, "Holla! Let's get this 7 hour layover done with!" WE wait in line to re-check our bags and the chick's like, "You can't check your bags till 2:30." Well folks, it was about 10:30. That's a golden 4 hours that we are not allowed inside the airport, but can't go outside at all either. After going between 16,000 terminals, we finally find a restaurant open to the less fortunate (i.e. us). The only downside of this glorious find was that we spent $10 each on a meal. After much nonsense including trying to sleep in a dark hallway, having nuts thrown at us by some thugs (they weren't really thugs-just wannabes), reading a children's bible, smiling at people on the tram, playing soccer with aforementioned (I tried to sound smart, but that didn't work) nuts, and trying to touch the ceiling, we FINALLY were able to check our bags. 
  And here we sit. Waiting another nails-on-a-chalkboard 60 minutes. All I can say is, Tiff and I are gonna be pros at floor napping and carrying our suitcases up and down escalators after this. Traveling is always an adventure. 





LATER THAT DAY...
  Did I really say "Traveling is always an adventure" earlier? I had NO idea. Shortly after I finished with you all last, the airline peeps started saying something in Spanish. Tiff goes, "Are you kidding me? Did he just say our flight was cancelled?" THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE. Needless to day, Tiff and I are now in a hotel after spending 12 long, grueling, miserable, unproductive, hilarious hours in the Houston airport. 
  Also, this hotel is pretty sketch. The guy at the front kept cussing and basically, if we die, they're not responsible. But hey! Free food, hotel, and a flight without connections. Sweet. We're way better off than the dude behind us in line who I just realized probably has his second flight cancelled. Word to the wise: Avoid Aeromexico. [Sidenote: Opinion later changed]


Friday, June 7, 2013

My Thoughts on Make Up

So I figured out something to write about. I think this one should actually have depth. I wish I was a better writer, but oh well. Beware: This is a very bitter post.

Make up.

This is Eva Longoria both with and without make up.
I am NOT using this picture to say that Eva is more beautiful with make up. I am using it to say that she is less beautiful with make up. 


There's this blog called "The Rules Revisited" that's written by this guy who thinks he knows how every guy in the world thinks. He has a post entitled "What Men Think of You Without Makeup". Can I first just say that if you "grow less disappointed" in something, it actually means that you're getting more proud of it, right? I don't know. I just feel like this guy is an idiot. It also doesn't make sense that he first says women are incorrect in believing that men are more turned on by seeing you in your natural state. Yet later he states that it is intimate to see a girl without make up. He tells us to not use the second one as an excuse, but to me it just sounds like this fool can't make up (punny ha!) his mind. I just stumbled across his blog and it's rather amazing how much it aggravates me. This is a description of his blog:

I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset. At most, it is a reliable source of information for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.

If that doesn't make you feel good about yourself as a woman, I don't know what will. He also says that us "taking a break from being beautiful for him" (not wearing make up) is exactly like him taking a break from being confident for us. WHAT THE FREAKING POOP??? I am fairly positive that confidence is part of your personality. It's not just something that you generally pick up and set down on command. You can't just "take a break" from confidence for the heck of it. Wearing make up on the other hand, is something that you physically have to do. It's an extra step every morning. Whereas you cannot put on confidence, you must put on make up. I do not even think the two are comparable. Not to mention, BEAUTY IS NOT MAKE UP. It shows how truly shallow this guy is if he thinks that we are immediately not beautiful without make up. I was talking to someone just today that said some girls "need" make up, because they feel so insecure without it. It's because of guys like this that we feel that way.

Can I share with you the reasons why I choose NOT to wear make up? I don't even care if you said no. Here it goes.

1. It takes so much pooping time. You know how long it takes me to get ready in the morning? Probably about 10-20. If guys think that it doesn't take time to do make up, they are mistaken. I have sat with girls who have been wearing make up for a good 8 years or so, and it still takes them AT LEAST 20 minutes and that's not when they're going out either. Also, you have to take it off every night. That probably adds up to like 7 months of your life spent on makeup (I really have no idea, but think about it). 
2. It's money that doesn't need to be spent. Period.
3. Let's be honest here. In high school, it was always  SO apparent when a girl was sick/tired/grounded. This is because of the immense difference make up makes. I'm just saying, I would much rather have people be surprised, because I look better than normal, rather than surprised in a negative way.
4. I would like for my husband to fall in love with my makeupless face. He's going to be seeing a lot of it, so he might as well think I'm beautiful in it. If dumb "I know everything about everything" boy is right though, I am never going to get married, because I will never be beautiful without make up.
5. I get compliments on my skin quite often. I believe that this is because I choose not to wear make up. Make up gets you into this vicious cycle where it causes more blemishes, and then you put more on to cover up those blemishes over and over again.
6. I in no way feel like myself when wearing make up. I'll admit, occasionally, when dressing up, it can be fun. But if I'm going to the grocery store, there is absolutely no reason for me to be wearing make up. Thus, it makes me uncomfortable. 

So, I encourage women to throw out the idea that they have to get dolled up for sex. That we all should "take great pleasure in adorning ourselves". That men don't expect as to look hot without make up. 

You are beautiful. 

And with that. I'm out. 




Thursday, June 6, 2013

SUMMER. LOVE.

I'm sitting at work today and there is literally nothing I could be doing. Alright, so there's probably something I could do right now, but I don't really know what that is. I've already visited facebook several times and looked up Bachelorette Party Ideas for girls under 21. Oh and I also researched the definitions of soup and cereal. Are they the same thing? Yeah, well, you're asking the wrong person. I decided I should write a blog post, but I realized I don't really have that much to say. So this will just be my thoughts as they come. Get ready. It's gonna be good.

1. I LOVE SUMMER. You get so many naps, stay up as late as you want, don't have to worry about homework. I have never appreciated summer as much as I do now.
2. It's so nice have your friends home from college. It actually makes it harder too though. Figuring out how to spend time with people and all.
3. I really like Chipotle and mac and cheese. Don't make me choose between them. Ever.
4. My sister left for Egypt today. I have mixed feelings about that one.
5. My dog got a haircut yesterday.
6. Wow, my life is so boring. All I have to talk about is my dog getting a haircut.
7. I had doughnuts this morning. God definitely had me in mind when he made those.
8. I feel like the music just got A LOT louder.
9. I'm not really that tempted to get a smart phone. If I had one, I would probably love it, but I'm okay without one for now.
10. I am spending a ton of money this summer. Things like a run(WHAT?), a concert, white water rafting, skydiving, birthday presents, wedding paraphernalia (I know I didn't spell that right), and of course, food.
11. I need chapstick.
12. I want to make another video. I should actually start doing that!
13. Seriously, I love summer.
14. I want to go to Oklahoma this summer, but I don't know if that will happen.
15. I always say things I regret.
16. I don't know how to use pintrest.
17. I think I was meant to be a dude, but everybody takes that the wrong way. First of all, I don't know how to use pintrest. I don't like shopping. I will probably NEVER cook for myself. Frozen foods and ramen all the way, yo! I love watching sports. I never wear make-up. Although I like dressing up, I do not like going all the way. Like heels? Nope. But whatever. People don't understand that. The only thing they think of when I say that is that I'm interested in girls. Which is in no way shape or form true AT ALL whatsoever in any lifetime. Just to be clear. Get your mind out of the gutter people.
18. I feel like I'm typing really fast.
19. People are surprised when I can type without looking.
20. Now I'm trying to type fast.
21. I should probably stop soon.
22. I REALLY need chapstick.
23. I got a text. Hold up a sec.
*reads text* <---Why did I do that?
24. It was from Catherine. Not surprised at all. She said she was gonna brush her hair. Yes, these are the conversations we have.
25. I only have 1 hour and 15 minutes left! Yay! I guess I'll stop and take out the trash sometime soon. Maybe.

Alright, love you. Bye.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Whale Nose

What have I been thinking about lately? Let me tell you. 18 years. (18 years and on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his). That's how long I've been single. It seems like a long enough time to perfect a person, right? Or at least mature them enough to be in a romantic relationship with another person. Well, I've been figuring out that it's different for everyone. I know people who got married at 18 and are still going strong. I also know some awesome 30- something year old people that are still not married.

This is honestly something that I've been struggling with lately. There have been times before where I've wanted a boyfriend, because it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with or to say nice things to me. Lately though, it's been a whole new struggle. Like it has made me question everything about myself. I have never had such low self esteem in my life as I've had these past couple of months. However, what I have been failing to realize is that God has been teaching me more things about myself during this time than ever before as well.

Some of the lessons that I have been learning are as follows:
1. I cannot wait around and anticipate all of the problems that are going to happen during the day. I have to just give my day to the Lord every morning and trust that he will handle all of my problems with ease.
2. I need to lower my expectations. I set such high expectations for experiences, friends, family, myself, and boys. I keep a journal for my husband (I know, super cheezballz), and I actually wrote an entry about lowering my expectations. Let me share just a snippet of it with you. One of the unrealistic expectations I have set for my husband is that I want him to love watching sports and be willing and happy to explain plays that I don't understand. The reality of that situation is this: What guy is going to want to take the time to explain every single call to me during the game. It'll probably be more like, "Wait, so that means..." "Just google it, Kristin!" Plus, what if he doesn't even like watching sports? I can't hold that against my husband! I have simply found myself having really high expectations for people or things and I always end up disappointed. Maybe I should say that I have too many expectations rather than too high expectations though.
3. Idols. This was a sermon that I heard a couple of weeks ago at church. The pastor gave a simple definition of the word: Anything you place above God. "Wow." I thought, "there are SO many things that I put above God." When I think about my daily routine, it exemplifies exactly where God is on my priority list. I usually do my devotions at night. That means I have just put school, work, working out, eating excessively, taking naps, talking with friends, facebook, worrying, and so much more above God. Recently, I have been trying to flip that routine around and start my day out with devotions. I have found that it makes me much happier during the day and a more enjoyable person to be around.
4. God longs to spend time with me. At another service the other night, the pastor said, "God's heart starts to beat faster when you spend time with him." I think that is one of the coolest things ever. Out of all the people in the world, God longs to spend time with me. A lowlife that messes up on a day to day basis. He knows all of my faults and failures yet still LOVES when I talk to him. He's jealous for me. No person could ever do that like Jesus does. The pastor encouraged us to take a little extra time each day to spend more time with the Lord. Lately, I've been enjoying my morning car rides just talking with Jesus. Although, I'm still figuring out how that's even supposed to work.
5. I am supposed to wait well. This has probably be the hardest lesson for me. I think it's usually this age in life where people get tired of waiting. I don't really know where I'm going in life. I want a boyfriend. I want summer. There are all of these things that I am so impatient for. I need to enjoy the NOW.  I need to appreciate everyday for what it's worth and find new opportunities. I must trust that God's timing is always perfect.

Although I cannot say that my self esteem issues have been fixed, I have realized that I need to find my value in God's love. I don't want people's pity, because I know that this is something I need to work out within myself. I am trusting that God is simply bringing me to the exact place that I need to be in before I'm in a relationship. He's not done with me. He needs to continue teaching me things about myself. My hope is that he is also bringing my future man into this place. :)

All of this just goes to say that God is awesome. He knows what He's doing, and I need to trust Him. I need to enjoy where I'm at in life and be content. Thanks, Jesus. Looking forward to the next lesson you have in store for me!

Finally, I'd like to leave you with some (what I think are) funny texting conversations from today.

1. Them: "Hey, my friend just said he saw you!"
Me: "Oh, really?? Just kidding. I saw him too. I just avoided eye contact. I make such horrible one second decisions!"
"Hahaha. That's so funny. I asked him if he said hi to you, and he said no. Then I asked him why and he said you were walking too fast! This is really funny to me!"

2. Me: "Maybe when I get to work you, me, and Patty can all do that burpee work out!"
Them: *nothing*
Me: "No? Are you afraid Patty's going to show you up? You know, I would much rather have people blow their nose than sound like a whale when they breathe."
Them: "What in the world?"
"What? It's physical geography. I have nothing else to think about."
"Hahaha. Couldn't you think about your future husband or something?"
"Who? Demaryius (Thomas)? Victor (Cruz)? Trust me. There are no possibilities in this class. It's easier for me to imagine someone blowing their nose."
"Hahahaha."

You see, I think I'm real funny.